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Traveling around the Philippines and living the life... my way
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Saturday, May 03, 2003
As we grow older, I guess our encounter with deaths grow more and more. Having my own experience of it has somehow mellowed me down in ways. Even if it has been almost three years since my father died, his absence is still felt. Especially now that our house in Davao is finished. It was something he and my mom were planning to do after his retirement.
Yet even if it happens all around you, it still remains to be shocking, unreal, weird. Especially unexpected ones. My friends and I often asked questions in college, how we would like to die. Stuff like that. Still whether it be quick or slow... the pain is no different. The loss is still there, the loss is still so apparent. It remains to be a sad thing. Maybe not for the dead person but for the people he or she leaves behind. Once you are dead, you go to heaven or wherever you choose to go. But for those left behind, they bear with the pain everyday. Until they grow numb or move on. But there will be moments, the pain returns. Ewan, I have no idea what I am talking about.
I just know now that I am older I get to understand more and more how pain really feels.
* * * * *
I pray for healing. For all those who have been left behind. Especially to Row's M and his dad.
posted by cross eyed bear at 6:42 AM
The Dante's Inferno Test has sent you to Purgatory!
Here is how you matched up against all the levels:
Take the Dante's Inferno Hell Test
Purgatory
You have escaped damnation and made it to Purgatory, a place where the dew of repentance washes off the stain of sin and girds the spirit with humility. Through contrition, confession, and satisfaction by works of righteousness, you must make your way up the mountain. As the sins are cleansed from your soul, you will be illuminated by the Sun of Divine Grace, and you will join other souls, smiling and happy, upon the summit of this mountain. Before long you will know the joys of Paradise as you ascend to the ethereal realm of Heaven.
posted by cross eyed bear at 6:16 AM
Thursday, May 01, 2003
I think I am going to have a love affair with my typewriter. I just really predict. Seems like a good substitute for the absence of a lover. Har!
And I am learning to make myself the perfect coffee mix. Maybe because I do it with love. And the desire to have something good. har!
posted by cross eyed bear at 6:53 PM
Just bought myself a typewriter today. It has always been at the back of my mind since I watched "Finding Forrester" but I finally decided to get one after reading "Einstein's Dreams" by Alan Lightman on the way to Davao. Hopefully, it will really let the creative juices flow.
Can't wait to use it tonight. :)
posted by cross eyed bear at 4:44 AM
Wednesday, April 30, 2003
1. IF YOU COULD BUILD YOUR HOUSE ANYWHERE, WHERE WOULD IT BE?
i am torn in having one in davao (but my mom already has one) and one in the outskirts of calapan or naujan, oriental mindoro. a resthouse in palawan would be great, too.
2. WHAT'S YOUR FAVOURITE ARTICLE OF CLOTHING?
plain baby-tees though i have recently discovered that i actually look good in sleeveless shirts.
3. WHAT'S YOUR FAVOURITE PHYSICAL FEATURE OF THE PEOPLE WHO YOU ARE ATTRACTED TO ?
usually my guys are lean with straight hair.
4. WHAT'S THE LAST CD THAT YOU BOUGHT?
i leave that to my bro. i did buy the last two tapes of color it red.
5. WHERE'S YOUR FAVOURITE PLACE TO BE?
grabe! ang dami. suqui beach in calapan. davao, in general. miarayon and pangantucan, bukidnon. 70's bistro.
6. WHERE'S YOUR LEAST FAVOURITE PLACE TO BE?
in the middle of traffic and in the hospital.
7. WHAT'S YOUR FAVOURITE PLACE TO BE MASSAGED?
scalp and feet and hands
8. WHAT'S MOST IMPORTANT, STRONG IN MIND OR STRONG IN BODY?
strong in HEART!
9. WHAT TIME DO YOU WAKE IN THE MORNING?
630 AM
10. WHAT'S YOUR FAVOURITE TV SHOW?
travel shows. ally macbeal. smallville. csi. hey, arnold. rugrats.
11. WHAT'S YOUR FAVOURITE KITCHEN APPLIANCE?
microwave! wonderful creation.
12. WHAT'S YOUR FAVOURITE CHILDHOOD MEMORY?
climbing our calachuchi tree while waiting for my crush to pass by.
13. WHAT MAKES YOU LAUGH?
kids. funny stories of JVPs.
14. WHAT MAKES YOU REALLY ANGRY?
betrayal.
15. IF YOU COULD PLAY ANY INSTRUMENT WHAT WOULD IT BE?
guitar and flute.
16. FAVOURITE RESTAURANT/CAFE/EATERY?
full house. ken afford.
17. SCARIEST MOMENT OF YOUR LIFE?
bangungot.
18. IF THERE WAS A MOVIE MADE ABOUT YOU, WHAT CURRENT/FORMER HOLLYWOOD ACTOR WOULD PLAY YOU?
julia stiles.
19. DO YOU BELIEVE IN AFTERLIFE?
i believe in God's eternal embrace.
20. FAVOURITE CHILDREN'S BOOK?
the little prince. the missing piece. the missing piece meets the big O. the greatest thing since sliced bread.
21. WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE SEASON?
kahit it does not exist in the philippines, autumn.
22. WHAT IS YOUR LEAST FAVOURITE HOUSEHOLD CHORE?
cleaning the bathroom
23. IF YOU COULD HAVE ONE SUPER POWER, WHAT WOULD IT BE?
reading minds and the ability to heal hearts. including my own.
24. IF YOU HAVE A TATTOO, WHAT IS IT?
my henna tattoos are usually the sun, though i am thinking of having my name in alibata tattood somewhere. or a lizard perhaps. i love lizards.
26. THE SONG YOU WISHED YOU HAD WRITTEN?
dami. pero top of mind, hands to heaven and as i lay me down kasi favorite ko.
27. DO YOU PREFER CATS OR DOGS?
i love 'em both.
28. WHAT'S IN THE TRUNK OF YOUR CAR?
a dead body i need to dispose of. hello, no car!
29. WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE DAY?
wednesday!
30. USING ONLY ONE WORD DESCRIBE YOURSELF?
manlalakbay
posted by cross eyed bear at 5:10 AM
Just saw my nephews' and nieces' pictures! Ang saya-saya. They all have grown so much since I last saw them (February).
posted by cross eyed bear at 4:52 AM
Yuck. Just saw disgusting pictures that erik sent. Disgusting. Ugh.
posted by cross eyed bear at 4:32 AM
Can't understand why this friggin' thing won't publish my posts. Kainis na ito, ha. Oh well...
posted by cross eyed bear at 4:29 AM
Tuesday, April 29, 2003
Yesterday 4AM my mom moved in to our newly reconstructed house. She texted us and told us that the house is our father's legacy. And indeed it is, his and my mom's. My father's retirement pay all went to the house, while my mom put all her energies into building that house. The thought of that makes me want to stay in that house more and more.
I just love both of them so much. :)
posted by cross eyed bear at 1:01 AM
Monday, April 28, 2003
Sleepy and tired.
Anyway, had lunch with Rowie. The last time we saw each other was December 23 with Karen. I never realized how busy I was and how often I was out till I realized how long I have not seen her. And we are just both right here in the Ateneo. Grabe!
* * * * *
There is just so much to work to do. I don't know how much I have to stretch myself just to meet all the deadlines. Argh. Actually, the hardest thing to do right now is to write an article for our publications. Grsh.
* * * * *
I was supposed to buy myself a typewriter last Saturday. Had my money ready and all but my brother insisted that I canvas first. Why in this computer world would I want to buy a typewriter? Because thoughts flow more freely when you type. Unlike in the computer where you have to tendency to already edit out what you have to say simply because you can do so. With the typewriter you have to write everything down, then edit. I think using the typewriter catches the essence of thoughts better. Or maybe I am just simply old-fashioned. But it's still fun to just write. :)
posted by cross eyed bear at 3:07 AM
Sunday, April 27, 2003
A very tiring night last night. Draining.
posted by cross eyed bear at 8:14 PM
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