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Traveling around the Philippines and living the life... my way





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Friday, June 20, 2003

 
two weeks of bumming almost over. will get to new work this monday. i just wonder what's in store. hmmm...

posted by cross eyed bear at 8:34 PM

Monday, June 16, 2003

 
11 June 2003. Supposedly I was to leave Manila 530 AM but I woke up 8. So after rushing my bath, I arrived at the bus terminal just in time for the 9AM bus. While on the bus, I was reading Bob Ong's "Bakit Baligtad Magbasa ang Pilipino?" Not good reading material if you plan to sleep. I ended up thinking about what to do with my life and what my life has to do for my country. Good start for a vacation, may I say. Hah. I arrived 11:30AM. The ferry to Calapan was 12:15NN. While waiting, I spent my time surfing the net. There were internet ports inside the station.

While checking my mail, the people were already lining up for the 12:15 trip. It was only 11:45! The sight got me a bit paranoid though you can see through the glass windows that the Supercat hasn't arrived yet. Neither can it be seen coming. Still people were waiting in line, obviously making sure that they get to the boat first. I continued surfing knowing that I will have a seat. Doesn't matter if it has the ugliest view in the house. Hello! The trip would only take 45 minutes!

Finally, the Cat arrived. We got in. I didn't get a lousy seat. Didn't get a good one either. Read the book half the trip. Slept half the trip. When the stewardess' voice boomed over the PA system, people immediately got up to go to the door. Yargh! The stewardess just said, "pakiusap na manatili sa inyong mga upuan" Calapan was still five minutes away, dudes! Jah!

Went straight to my old office. The people were all out for lunch. Jeez. Decided to wait up inside the cathedral. Eventually they came in. Stories and stuff. Had a 5 PM appointment with a friend who was an ex-seminarian. We were going to the seminary to meet up with our other friends.

5 PM. Plenus got there. Went to the seminary to see the people. Althird and Eff were there to entertain us. Luckily it was free time.

7 PM. Met up with Feucs. He was late. Quite all right. Plenus and I were discussing his lovelife.

830 PM. Jammed with Plenus¡¦ band. Well they jammed. Feucs and I listened. Feucs kept laughing while reading my book. Ended up borrowing it. Kept staring at the lead guitarist, but the bassist was cute, too.

1130 PM. Went home after walking to 60 Seconds convenience store. Jamming was cut short because it was brownout. Feucs brought me home.

12 June 2003. It was Kap's and Dhar's investiture. Ple and I were going. Woke up late. But arrived on time. Plenus' other friend was late so we got to watch the parade. Boring. People were just walking around. We were hoping to catch a glimpse of Tano, a ex-seminarian turned policeman. No sighting. The friend finally came. Off we go to the seminary.

When we got there it was still Gloria. Some theologians were late. Those theologians were my students. God, they look much older and way bigger that last I saw them. One of them, a special friend. We were both amazingly non-chalant.

Went through the ceremony. Bishop was really giving a sermon directed to the seminarians. They were laughing at the humorous truth of the whole thing.
The investiture itself. Quite emotional for their parents, I bet. And some seminarians, I'm sure. I was laughing and amused. God! My kid bros, theologians. They were hooligans, if you ask me. But hey, God will always welcome the willing. Besides, they were good-hearted hooligans.

Ceremony over. The part I dread has come. Feast time. I will be forced to eat. That's not the problem. I will be forced to line up and eat. Lining up is not a problem. Lining up with sixty hungry seminarians and a good number of equally ravenous guests is the problem. They can have the pansit. Can I just sit down and chat?

Luckily, I am a goddess to them. Althird offers to line up and get food for me. Yes, you may indulge me. I sit down and converse with those who are waiting for their turn in the line. Yeah. Food comes to me. Good pansit. Can¡¦t believe I almost would have not tasted it.

After meals, conversations with friends. Chika the theologians. But they have to go. Chika the fathers. Yaiks! Fr. Arnold has gout. Fr. Mimo is asking if I'm still baduy. Fr. RV has to go. The other fathers I fear. Them the old ones.

Ple comes to me and tells me we will be sleeping in Naujan. Yup, I am being told this as if I had no choice. After consultation of skeds with Mimo, I concede. Naujan it is. But before that lunch.

Still early. Nap on Fr. Arnold's rocking chair. Listen to Fr. RV's Josh Groban CD. Finally, meal! Yummy! Beef. And weird looking mackerel. But still yummy!

A few conversations. Kap gets his bag. Carol will be going with us. Ple has practice. Pass by Tawiran to get my stuff. Go back to Citimart to watch "Ang Tanging Ina" with Kap and Carol.

Second time to watch the movie. Still funny, but I'm more critical. After the movie, we go to Plenus' practice. He just started. Promise to end by 5PM. Good boy. We leave 5. Nyek. to go to another house. To eat. Again. Yaiks. We take the 6 PM trip.

7 PM Naujan. Got ready for meals. Yaiks. No meal. Still have to scrounge around town for food. Yaiks. Brownout. Walk to Naujan. We were actually in Calapan, just had to pass Naujan. Huh? Anyway, we cross the border to Naujan.

Great! Tuyo, red eggs and tomatoes. Yeessh! Erya puud! Love it. Brownout still. Kids singing "spaghetti pababa, pababa ng pababa. Spaghetti pataas pataas ng pataas." Go sexbomb.

Yummy food!

Inuman time. Don't like. Two small sips of gin pom only. Tickle festival. Plenus the loser.

13 June 2003. Have to meet adette in Tawiran. Woke up on time. But too much lazy time. Almost stayed longer. Good thing had no signal. Ended up leaving 9AM. Ple had practice at 9. Nyahahah! Carol stayed another day.

Lost my cross somewhere in Naujan and Calapan. Sad. But not really. Will have to buy that silver ankh from Unisilver soon!

Saw Adette lunch time. Fiesta food from Lalud care of Bert. Yes! Free meal.

Conversations with Adette means boys, relationships and vocation. Just what I need.

3:30 PM we leave for the seminary to meet up with Fr. Mimo.

Mimo with other girls. What¡¦s new.

After discussing our plans, we end up deciding that we go to Baco. His hometown. Great. Always wonderful to hang out in their kubo. After so many stop overs, (as in many) we arrive at Baco.

Ate Bernette is married na! Yey! I have hope. 18 years more to look for a partner. Nyahahah!

Mimo was to cook. But there was a party at the other house. Yes! Another free meal. Great food.

After dinner, straight to the kubo. Ate Bernette tells her love story. She was transformed from a 43 year-old spinster to a 25-year old newlywed. Cool. Discussions on food and Mimo's family.

Sleep! Not much intimate conversation with Mimo and Adette but it is always welcome to simply just spend time with them.

14 June 2003. To Roxas.

Great breakfast by Mimo. Was supposed to leave 7AM. But Adette had to discuss some official and lovelife matters. Interesting conversation. Nice listening to eat.

Left at 9AM. Got to Calapan 9:30AM. Planning to go to Boracay. Yaiks! All ATMs off-line. Okay fine. A storm was coming anyway.

Left 10AM for Roxas. Nice sleep.

12NN. Saw Hi-C and Tin. Yey! Mass for the anniversary of VF4. Which means more food. Yaiks.

Each parish brought food to share with other parishes. I don't like scrounging for food. But it was fun. Table to table. With threats of not getting anything but ended up full anyway.

Checked sked for Boracay. 8 AM and 230PM. Next time. The rains are coming and I can't get anywhere with 600 bucks.

More food when we get home. Merienda. Food again. Dinner.

Chika with Hi-C and Tin. Lovelife and Joann and other things.

15 June 2003. Ready to go home.

Was supposed to leave early but Ate Mina and Kuya Ben insisted I stay for lunch. Sure. 8 - 930 AM mass. Fr. Allan¡¦s masses are so long and dragging. Sleepy the whole time. But I love the man.

Got home. Ate merienda. After 30 minutes. Ate lunch. The bilbil are bulging, looming larger.

After lunch I leave. Thought I could not reach the last Supercat. Had time for it. Except the stupid tricycle driver tells me there won't be a trip. We find out later there was. Argh!

Stayed longer. Met up with Plenus. Ate at Jollibee. Saw the SASPHI theologians. Conversations. Saw a lot of ex-seminarians. Max. Tano. Others who are familiar but not really. Ple missed mass.

Didn't have a place to stay. Asked people. Seminary but Fr. RV and the other priests I know weren't there. Shucks. Some strangers that Plenus knows and I am acquainted with. I refuse! Finally called Robert. Yeah! He was home! Got myself a place. Was ready to sleep in a hotel if not for Plenus' insistence.

Went to Tawiran. Ple with me. Slept for a while. Tried to anyway. We ended up disturbing each other's attempt to sleep.

Got some stuff from Citimart and Mercury. Insight then. Drinks. Food. 4 glasses of iced tea. Brownout. Rain. No ride. No umbrella. Love it. In the middle of nowhere. Love it. This is the life. This is area. Too bad I wasn¡¦t with a fling thing. Had bits of moment with the kid though. Scary.

Electricity back. Got a ride. Ended up going to Neil¡¦s house. Had fun with Ple's bandmates.

Finally home.

16 June 2003. Really, finally home.

Woke up 8. Got ready by 830. Enough time for internet. Just barely caught the 915 supercat. Thought the whole time it was 930. Still was able to go home. Yes!




posted by cross eyed bear at 3:23 AM

 
11 June 2003
10:24 AM – Lipa

Kadalasan tulog ako sa biyahe ng bus patungong Batangas. Baka din naman dahil alas cinco y medya ang madalas kong kuning biyahe at patay pa talaga ang utak ko. Pero, ang punto, ngayon ay gising na gising ako. Sinusubukan kong patulugin ang sariliu sa pagbabasa.

Mali yata na “Bakit baligtad magbasa ang Pilipino?” ni Bob Ong ang basahin para antukin. Dahil lalo akong nagising. Nuong una sa kakatawa (ng tahimik at bakas isipin ng ibang pasahero na baliw ako). Ngunit sa kalagitnaan ng aklat, nagising ako lalo dahil napapaisip ako ng nababasa ko. Gusto ko pa nga bang maging Pinoy?

Ibinaba ko muna ang libro at tumanaw sa bintana. Nasa Lipa na ako. Nasa ‘Pinas pa rin. Mga samu’t-saring bahay na nakahilera sa highway. Isa duon, mapagtripan lang ng Big Bad Wolf, guguho na. Iyong isa, mukhang bagong yaman lang ang may-ari. Sa sobrang kapraningan, nakarehas lahat ng bintana, kulang na lang pati pinto meron. At ang isa, kalalaba lang ng nakatira kaninang umaga dahil malapit nang matuyo ang dalawang de-kolor na sando, isang pares ng maong pants at tatlong daster. Tuyo na siguro ang mga panty at briefs kaya naipasok na. Sa mga pader-pader naman mga sandamakmak na vandalism. Pangalan ng mga fraternity. Pagtatapat ng pag-ibig. Pakikipag-away. Paninindigan. Pati road sign hindi pinatawad.

Sa isip-isip ko, karamihan ng subdivisions sa Europe at US ay malinis. May welfare check ang homeless. May bahay na maayos ang middle-class. May pagpapahalaga sa kultura at sa identity nila. Sarap siguro maging Caucasian. Sarap siguro duon mabuhay.

Pero kahit buwaya ang mga pulitiko at kahit magulo na naman ang Simbahan dito sa Pilipinas, di ko pa rin makuhang pangaraping tumira o magtrabaho sa ibang bansa. Katangahan? Ideyalismo? Ewan. Di ko rin alam.

Ang iba, naiinis o nawawalan ng pag-asa sa nakikita at nangyayari sa bansa. Kaya hindi na muna ako nagbabasa ng diyaryo. Pero hahabol at hahabol din ang balita. Wala man ako sa mood na alamin ang balita, may nagtutulak pa rin sa akin na mag-isip at marahil pati na rin gumawa.

* * * * *
Dalawang lingo akong wala munang trabaho. Kaka-resign ko lang. Matapos ang dalawang linggong pahinga, may papasukan akong two-month project sa isang NGO. Para lang kumita habang nag-iisip ng gagawin sa buhay ko.

Umalis ako sa isang trabaho na kailangman hindi ako hinawakan sa leeg. Mas malakas pa ang kapit niya dahil puso ko ang hawak. Siguro dumating na ako sa punto na kailangang pagnilayan kung ano na nga ba ang dapat gawin sa buhay kaya ako umalis.

Nuong una gusto kong magtrabaho sa media. Para que pa na nag-Communication Arts ako kung di ko lang din naman gagamitin! Pero dahil nag-Jesuit Volunteer ako pagkatapos ng college, mas mahirap na bumalik sa dati kong gusto. Nagtatalo sa akin ngayon kung ano ang mas mahalaga – pangarap o prinsipyo. Alam kong lalamunin ang mga paniniwala ko kung sakaling sa media networks ako magtrabaho. Kailangan ko din talagang pumili. O baka puwedeng pagsabayin. Sa punto into nasa pagpili pa ang sitwasyon ko.
* * * * *
Balik tayo sa bintana ng bus… ang dami kong nakikitang pangangailangang ng Pinoy at ‘Pinas. Improvement sa housing, environmental care, discipline, education, infrastructure, utilities, beauty contests, etc… Argh! Ang sakit sa puso.

Mga napapanuod ko sa TV, may sitcom at may drama. Mas marami pang nakakatawa at nakakaiyak na pangyayari sa buhay ko, sa buhay ng mga nakasama kong maglingkod, sa buhay ng napaglingkuran naming mga komunidad bilang mga Jesuit Volunteers.

Oo, may kakayahan ako sa media. Pero maraming iba ang kaya din iyon. Baka mas magaling pa sila. Pero iilan lang ang may puso para harapin ang katotohanan na kailangang sila ng bansa at kapwa nila. Konti lang ang may kahibangan na panindigan ang “Ask not what your country can do for you but rather what you can do for your country.”

Oo, balahura ang gobyerno. Madalas pa rin akong walang tiwala sa kanila. Pero lalong dapat na may magbantay sa kanila.

Oo, walang disiplina ang Pinoy, pero di mo sila masisisi dahil mahirap pag-isip kung kumakalam ang sikmura.

Malas ko na lang siguro na nung magsabog ng puso ang Diyos, ang nasalo ko iyong may kahibangan. Mukhang di ko na makakamit ang pangarap na mag-backpacking sa buong Europa. Pero mas tatanggapin ko na ang kabiguan na iyon kaysa biguin ang baliw kong pusong nagtutulak sa akin na gawin ang anuman ang kaya ko para makipagtulungan na mapabuti ang buhay ng kahit isa o dalawang Pinoy man lang, kasama na siguro ang sariling buhay ko.

Di ko pa rin alam kung ano ang dapat kong gawin sa sarili ko. Ang alam ko lang sa ngayon, kailangan ako ng bansa ko at hindi ko siya makuhang iwanan. Bahagi iyon ng magtutulak sa desisyon na gagawin ko.

Gusto ko pa bang maging Pilipino? Hindi na ito ginugusto dahil Pinoy talaga ako. Ang masasgot ko na lang, paninindigan ko na lang ang pagiging Pinoy ko.


posted by cross eyed bear at 3:22 AM

 

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